Hey Asshole!

I received a comment (anonymously, of course) for my posting of 'Stuff White People Like - #96 New Balance Shoes' that I thought I should share:

" Ummmm, if you were going for the easy laugh, I'll give you 2 out of 10. Mildly amusing at best. Sorry.

If you're serious, which is hard to believe but I'll play along, you need to meet a different subset of the population. I use NB because of the widths and motion control. Have completed more 5 and 10ks then I can count, finished a couple of half Marathons, and one Half IronMan triathlon. As for my athletic friends, most of them don't wear NB, but wear what works best for their foot's needs. Adidas, Saucony, Karhu to name just a few.

BTW, if it's built for running, you shouldn't be using it to walk in. The foot's bio mechanics differs between walking and running. Walking uses more heel for example.

Hope this helps to dispel any myths you have formed."

This person obviously needs to refer to my previous posting of 'Stuff White People Like - #101 Being Offended.' Based on the content of 'Stuff White People Like - #96 New Balance Shoes', I'm not sure they appreciate the deep, deep irony of posting a comment proclaiming how fantastic New Balance Shoes are and boasting of how accomplished they and their friends are at jogging (prounounced yah-geeng - it's a soft 'j') while at the same time declaring the entry itself entirely full of 'myths'. You've literally proven it to be true while trying to 'dispel' it. Quite a feat! Thanks for reading, friend-o.

*Oh, and you've "completed more 5 and 10ks than [you] can count", not 'then'.

Hey Asshole!

Stop bringing your dinner to the movies. Are you there to see the movie, or just to stuff your face for two hours? Last night at Tropic Thunder, a girl came in (late) and sat in the open seat immediately next to me. She then proceeded to pull out a massive burrito with - by the smell of it - everything on it. I've never heard tinfoil make so much noise. After 20 minutes of listening to her mouth mush refried beans and sour cream and rice and meat around, she moved on to her crinkly paper bag full of crunchy chips. Next, she produced a plastic cup and proceeded to throw back swigs of stank-ass, cheap red wine. You are trash. Go ruin the movie for someone else. I think I just vomited in my mouth.

Previous to this, at The Dark Knight, a couple literally sat down next to me with two pizzas.

Really?

At a different movie, a few seats down from me, a couple came dressed in what most people wear Sunday morning on the couch watching TV. With them they brought fried chicken and mashed potatoes from Poppy's.

Please.

Try.

Harder.

Have a little more self respect. You don't have to be the lowest common denominator out there.