Packs A Punch

This portrait of Muhammad Ali was made with punching bags. Pretty cool.

[via Gizmodo]

Skier Falls Off Mountain

The Metrodome Collapse

There will never be another Vikings' season like this. It has been, without comparison, the most bizarre year ever. Just when you think it can't get any weirder, the entire roof implodes. Metaphor for the season?

Acupuncture In The NFL

Here's a great article from the New York Times that's right up my alley, about a woman who treats 40 NFL players for pain with acupuncture. This is basically my dream job, minus all the travel. I was surprised to learn acupuncture isn't more common in the NFL and other sports. The article points out that not all football teams even have massage therapists or nutritionists on staff. Seems like there's a lot of room for improvement. I'm thinking that bodes well for my foray into sports medicine.

[Thanks to Hello Yummy]

Andy Irons

Congratulations, Giants!!

Stuff White People Like - #133 The World Cup

Every four years the planet comes together to celebrate the World Cup and since white people make up a portion the world, they are not immune to the excitement.

However, before you start planning out long watching sessions with white people you should be aware of exactly why white people get so excited about the World Cup. Though you may be waiting on baited breath for your favorite sport on a global scale, white people like the World Cup because it allows them to pretend they are European for a few weeks, and more importantly, it allows them to get drunk at odd hours.

Virtually every white person you speak to about the World Cup is incapable of remembering any actual event that took place during a game but can, with near total recall, remember how they got very drunk on Sangria during a Spain-Paraguay match at five in the morning.

From reading the above paragraph, the sharper ones among you have likely noticed that clever white people also adore the World Cup because it allows them to pair countries with their respective alcoholic drink.

“England is playing Argentina? Dude we gotta get some Newcastle then like, I don’t know, like some wine I guess?”

This plan will be consummated with a high five, a trip to Trader Joes, and the purchase of a soccer jersey that will be worn, on average, twice a decade.

It’s also worth noting the amazing interest shown by white women in the World Cup. While they generally find most professional sporting events to be boring, the atmosphere at a World Cup match is much more amenable. Mostly because they don’t have to drink light beer and there is a good chance that they might meet a European man, or, at least someone who might be planning a trip there. This is far superior to a hockey game where, at best, they might meet a Canadian. It goes without saying that for white women, the World Cup can’t come soon enough.

Of course, hosting a themed party around one of the games is a sure fire way to increase your popularity with white people, but at the end of the day it does not increase your bottom line. No, during the World Cup, the most profit to be made will come from betting on the games with white people. Not only will they have plenty of disposable income, they will follow the following betting patterns:

• England is good
• Brazil is good
• Italy is good
• Teams from Africa are cute underdogs and thus always worth a bet.

When it comes to talking about the event, it goes without saying that you should probably avoid trying to talk to white people about any of the actual players in the World Cup aside from the biggest stars. Most white people cobble their soccer knowledge together from UK celebrity gossip and a few games of FIFA on the Wii.

But if you do find yourself talking to a white person who actually knows a lot about soccer you are probably talking to a European, or worse, a white guy who tries too hard.

The latter is especially dangerous, as they have likely been waiting for years to meet someone to converse with about “football” and with soccer’s year round schedule, they will never leave you alone.

Click here for more Stuff White People Like.

The $2,250 Mouthguard

I was watching Monday Night Football last season and one of the announcers, Jon Gruden, was talking about how the New Orleans Saints were all wearing these special kind of mouthguards that increased their balance and flexibility. It sounded kind of ridiculous at the time, but I was also a bit intrigued.

Now considering they ended up winning the Superbowl for the first time in franchise history, perhaps there was something to those little pieces of plastic. It's been something that I wondered about from time to time, and just last night at the gym I got into a discussion about it with my trainer Taz and another fellow. So I decided to finally look into it.

The basic idea centers around neuromuscular dentistry, which explores the relationship between jaw alignment and the body. The theory is that you can find an ideal jaw position that will unlock the rest of the body and create health benefits that include increased flexibility and strength.

Every Pure Power Mouthguard must be specially fitted by an authorized dentist to the individual's mouth. The process begins with a 45 minute muscle and nerve stimulation, which de-programs the nerve patterns that are causing any misalignment in your jaw. Next, a computer tracks your jaw movement to its ideal position to within 0.7 millimeters. Finally, the exact space between your bite is found and a custom mold is created. After a series of exercises ensure your ideal bite has been found, you're set.

Personally, it sounds pretty cool to me. I definitely believe that the proper alignment of bones, muscles, and meridians will increase your energy flow, and thus make your body function at a higher level. I'd love to try this out myself and see how it works, but this science is not cheap. The basic model is $595 while the top-of-the-line signature series model will cost you a mind-boggling $2,250. For a mouthguard. Then again, that's like the tip on the dinner bill for most pro athletes, so I'm sure Makkar–the company that makes these–is profiting greatly from the sports world.

Click here to go to Makkar's website and learn more about their Pure Power Mouthguards.

If You Build It, I Will Come

I can't wait to see a game at the new Minnesota Twins ballpark, Target Field.

Google's Superbowl Ad

Ok it might have been a little sentimental, but I still liked it. It's also the first advertisement I've ever seen from Google, which is sort of ironic considering they're basically the leader in advertising.

The Minnesota North Stars

Just another Minnesota team that was stolen by another city. This time Dallas stole our hockey team, the Minnesota North Stars, dropped the North and are now known as the Dallas Stars. I like this T-shirt. Maybe I'll get this one to go with my Minneapolis Lakers T-shirt.

10 Questions With Adrian Peterson

Adrian Peterson seems so shy in this video. It's kind of cute considering he's such a bad ass on the football field.

The Minneapolis Lakers

Yes, that's right. The Minneapolis Lakers. Los Angeles stole our team in 1960, and didn't even bother to change the Lakers name or our Minnesota Purple and Gold colors (see The Minnesota Vikings colors).

I mean honestly, Minnesota's slogan is "The Land of 10,000 Lakes". How many lakes are there in Los Angeles? Just lazy.

Of course, considering the Minneapolis Lakers won FIVE championships between their origin in 1947 and their departure in 1960, I can't say I blame LA for wanting to latch on to the dominating reputation all-world center George Mikan and the Minneapolis team had built in Minnesota.

So in honor of all this, I've ordered the above T-shirt, and look forward to explaining all of this to anyone who dares to ask why I have a shirt that says "MPLS. Lakers".

Stuff White People Like - #65 Co-Ed Sports

White people love being outside, but often during the week they don’t have time for marathons or ten mile bike rides. The answer is to play co-ed sports. This provides white people with a valuable opportunity to make friends with other white people and maybe even find a few dates.

Many white people play in their first co-ed league in college. It is considered good form to talk about how you played in one of these leagues where the best player on your team was a girl. This will make everyone feel better and remind them of the benefits of supporting women’s athletics.

As white people move into careers, the co-ed leagues become important tools for bonding with co-workers and making valuable career connections. Popular co-ed sports include kickball, softball, flag football and soccer. Although kickball used to be kind of cool, it’s sort of played out. So unless it’s a work league, it’s not really worth joining a league anymore.

On the surface, these events seem like friendly contests with everyone having a laugh. But these events are lurking with danger, and within them exists the possibility to ruin your reputation and hard earned status with white people.

If you are a poor athlete, rest easy. Co-ed sports were made for you!

But if you are reasonably skilled in sports, you have to be extremely careful how you approach your co-ed matches. If you try TOO hard (bowling over a female catcher, throwing a kickball EXTRA hard at someone) you come off as an aggressive, crazy maniac. On the other hand, if you don’t try at all you come off as a jerk who thinks they are above the game. The only solution is to approach the game like a point-shaving basketball player - play hard enough to be convincing, but not hard enough to win.

If you follow these rules, you will find yourself invited to the mandatory post-game drinks at a local bar where you will be photographed many times.

Let The (Sex) Games Begin!

Tomorrow night thousands of young men and women with the most fit, toned bodies in the world will mingle for the last time before they fly home. What might they get up to?

Women’s Table-Tennis Players Urged to Wear Short Skirts, Tighter Shirts - That's The Business

They're trying to encourage women players to wear short skirts and tighter shirts that emphasize their curves, kind of like regular tennis players.

Seriously?

I was watching the Olympics last night, and the announcer introduced one of the American female swimmers as Misty Hymen. Seriously? Even a stripper would find that name a bit egregious.

Hockey, Healthcare and Sex Slaves - Canada Has It All

Canada is the world's latest portal of human traffic. Read more.

Inside the Fakery of China's Opening Ceremonies: Fireworks, Flubs, and a Lip-Synching Scandal

They were the Olympic opening ceremonies that wowed the world with their stunning displays of Socialist sophistication— but were they on the level? Allegations are flying that Chinese authorities faked certain parts of the broadcast, even going so far as to replace a singing 7-year-old who organizers deemed not hot enough to serve as the face of young China. Says HuffPo of the last-minute switch:

The real voice behind the tiny, pigtailed girl in the red dress who wowed 91,000 spectators at the National Stadium on opening night really belonged to 7-year-old Yang Peiyi. Her looks apparently failed the cuteness test with officials organizing the ceremony, but Chen said her voice was judged the most beautiful.

THR's James Hibberd provides a helpful roundup of allegations, including complaints about NBC's misuse of the "Live" stamp and charges that a beautiful, aerial shot of fireworks was computer-generated, a fact that that commentators danced around:

Accusation: That viewers were misled by the use of CGI fireworks during a sweeping helicopter shot leading up to Bird's Nest National Stadium. Organizers note the fireworks were there, but the footage was created in advance due to the danger of shooting live from a nearby helicopter.

Hurt by the allegations, NBC and Chinese authorities teamed up to release an ominous statement intended to quash dissent, promising, "If more columnists dare to question the magisterial beauty of our Games, we will have no choice but to pull Olympic coverage in favor of wall-to-wall airings of Can't Stop the Music. Xie xie."

• China Had "Cute" Girl Mime Opening Ceremony After Singer Banned For Crooked Teeth [HuffPo]
• NBC responds to Olympic fakery accusations [THR]

Indifferent swimmers break 8 world records while whining about Speedo's LZR Racer continues

If you hadn't heard by now, Speedo's new LZR Racer swimsuit has caused a respectable amount of controversy for itself in the run-up to the Olympics. The innovative, NASA-aided design cinches up on a swimmer and reduces drag by as much as 10 percent, and detractors claim Speedo has thrown a bit of buoyancy in there for good measure. FINA, who has the last word on such matters, has approved the suit, says that buoyancy claims are unproven, and has pointed out that all major manufacturers have suits available to all athletes free of charge, removing any concerns that the $500 suits -- which only last for 10 uses -- will pose an obstacle to poorer countries. Unsurprisingly, some of the biggest criticism of the suit has come from countries tied up in sponsorships with other suit manufacturers, while a good many countries and athletes have broken from lucrative deals to swim Speedo. So, what's the actual damage? 48 world records were set this year before the olympics, 44 of those wearing the suit. Since the olympics have started, 8 records have fallen, and that number is certain to grow. A large number, to be sure, but we'd say the time for crying over Speedo's awesmazingness is over, and the time to watch really muscular people with large feet break world records is upon us.

Read - DailyTech
Read - Sports Illustrated