Hey Asshole!

Stop bringing your dinner to the movies. Are you there to see the movie, or just to stuff your face for two hours? Last night at Tropic Thunder, a girl came in (late) and sat in the open seat immediately next to me. She then proceeded to pull out a massive burrito with - by the smell of it - everything on it. I've never heard tinfoil make so much noise. After 20 minutes of listening to her mouth mush refried beans and sour cream and rice and meat around, she moved on to her crinkly paper bag full of crunchy chips. Next, she produced a plastic cup and proceeded to throw back swigs of stank-ass, cheap red wine. You are trash. Go ruin the movie for someone else. I think I just vomited in my mouth.

Previous to this, at The Dark Knight, a couple literally sat down next to me with two pizzas.

Really?

At a different movie, a few seats down from me, a couple came dressed in what most people wear Sunday morning on the couch watching TV. With them they brought fried chicken and mashed potatoes from Poppy's.

Please.

Try.

Harder.

Have a little more self respect. You don't have to be the lowest common denominator out there.