Hockey, Healthcare and Sex Slaves - Canada Has It All

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Stuff White People Like - #75 Threatening to Move to Canada

Often times, white people get frustrated with the state of their country. They do not like the President, or Congress, or the health care system, or the illegal status of Marijuana. Whenever they are presented with a situation that seems unreasonable to them, their first instinct is to threaten to move to Canada.

For example, if you are watching TV with white people and there is a piece on the news about that they do not agree with, they are likely to declare “ok, that’s it, I’m moving to Canada.”

Though they will never actually move to Canada, the act of declaring that they are willing to undertake the journey is very symbolic in white culture. It shows that their dedication to their lifestyle and beliefs are so strong, that they would consider packing up their entire lives and moving to a country that is only slightly different to the one they live in now.

Within white culture, it is agreed upon that if Canada had better weather it would be a perfect place.

Being aware that this information can be used quite easily to gain the trust of white people. Whenever they say, “I’m moving to Canada,” you must immediately respond with “I have relatives in Canada.”

They will then expect you to tell them about how Canada has a perfect healthcare system, legalized everything, and no crime. Though not true, it will reassure them that they are making the right choice by saying they want to move there.

But be warned, they will reference you in future conversations and possibly call on you to settle disputes about Canadian tax rates. So use this advice only if you plan to do some basic research.

Note: Canadian white people threaten to move to Europe.

Note: Europeans are unable to threaten to move anywhere.

Kensington Market

Kensington Market is a small, bohemian neighborhood located near Chinatown in Toronto. Patrons walk or bike through narrow streets full of small shops and cafes spilling onto the sidewalks and lawns in front.

Toronto <3's TC

http://www.chartattack.com/DAMN/2008/06/1623.cfm

Looney Tunes

Although I've long been a proponent of eliminating coins from the monetary system (particularly the penny), Canada seems to be headed in the opposite direction. The lowest denomination of paper money in Canada is the five dollar bill. Everything below that is a coin.

Of note are the Loonie Toonie coins, which denote one dollar and two dollars, respectively. The name's come from the appearance of a loon on the one dollar coin, and the fact that Too rhymes with Two for the two dollar coin, thus Loonie Toonie.

So the obvious question one might ask themselves is how do you tip a stripper in Canada? As many people as we asked, we never got a straight answer. So if you know, please post below.

Greetings from Toronto!

If you've ever wondered what happened to our friends Bob and Doug McKenzie from Strange Brew, look no further than Chinatown in Toronto.